Week 39

Heavens to Betsy.  He’s still on the inside.


It is astounding to me how much more difficult certain things become each week.  For example, things as simple as getting into my car, rolling over in bed or even running a few errands are suddenly so much more challenging than they were just seven days ago!  I can still do each of those things mind you – they just take a considerably higher amount of effort.  Haha.

I decided we’d post our weekly photo a day early this week since I’m hoping to post about the nursery tomorrow (unless I am in labor which would be AWESOME.  just sayin’).  Still having contractions every day… they are definitely getting stronger and more noticeable… so, it’s progress.  It’s something!  Other than that, we’re just chugging along.  SteveKam has predicted that a week from now, we will have an outside baby.  He’s really sure that he’s coming sometime in the next seven days…. Well, here’s to a Dad’s intuition.  🙂  I sure would love for him to be right!

No matter what, we do know that this part of the journey is close to the end.  A brand new adventure is just around the corner… and while I am indeed totally uncomfortable at this point, I’ve got to say I’ve really enjoyed being pregnant besides a few bumps in the road.  I feel like I know so much more about myself, my body – even my personality – after this part of the experience.

I surprised myself more than a few times along the way.

We had some minor scares early on, as well as a little after the halfway point (thankfully all turned out to be nothing!) and I handled them a lot more calmly than I would have expected.  I found out I was not as full of anxiety as maybe I thought I was.  This has ended up giving me a feeling of hope that this part of my personality may take the driver’s seat down the road of parenthood.

I gained a bunch of weight – and I didn’t freak out.  (Anyone who knows me well, knows my history in this area… this is actually a huge step forward for me.)  Not only did I not freak out… I actually maintained a pretty positive image of myself this whole time.  I ended up not feeling bad about the baby weight – and, honestly, not really all that intimidated about getting rid of it either.  I’ve been able to see it all as part of the process instead of punishing myself for not meeting some ridiculous goal I may have set in my head before this began.  Being pregnant has made me stop and be a little kinder to myself.  Realizing this is making me smile. right. now.

And here is one that is going to sound so cheesy, that you may just want to skip ahead to the end of this post.  I thought I knew how much I loved my husband.  Wrong.  I thought I knew the extent of his awesomeness.  Nope.  Turns out this guy had a whole extra layer of kindness, patience and love just hanging out waiting to be revealed when it was most needed.  He has been to every single doctor’s appointment, ultrasound and test with me.  He has rubbed my feet every single night since the beginning.  He attended childbirth classes, child care classes, infant CPR class and even came to my breastfeeding class with me.  (All of these things?  His idea.  Never asked him to any of it. It’s just how he wanted to participate.)  He tells me I am pretty – and makes me hear him.  He has never ever ever doubted that I can birth this child the way I want to – and tells me all the time that he knows I can do this.  He has been my cheerleader lo these past 9 months – even through the times when my hormones were making me a cRaZy person and surely he bore the brunt of my psychosis.  He would just hug me.  And let me cry.  And tell me it was going to be okay.  (He was right, by the way.)  I thought I had a good handle on who SteveKam was, but it turns out as great as I have always touted him to be, even I was underestimating him.  He is badass.  And he is going to be one HELL of a father.  (Kid, you are luckier than you could possibly know….)  I just know that once this little guy is on the outside, I am going to learn of a whole other layer of kindness, patience and love that exists in this man – just waiting to be revealed to his kiddos.  So, here I sit at the end of this pregnancy, having learned how grateful I am that I found him and that he loved me back and that we ended up here together.

I also learned about things like stretch marks, your boobs getting ginormous, indi-freakin-gestion, poop issues, foot cramps and other delightful things… but that can be another post.  😉


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